Having Shot From The Hip, Crosby Tells Cameron To Zip It

In a performance style we have come to recognise, Off-Shore Cameron proudly announced that, “Money is no Object”. He loves to shoot from the hip but forgets that when he does this sort of thing, while it might look good and sound good, it is all bollox.

Lynton Crosby went apoplectic at this point! He spurted his Castlemaine XXXX out across the office desk and hit the mobiles! Having been telling the country that we are broke, that not being the ‘Royal We’ of course, we are then offered an open cheque.

The Tory Book of Re-Defining the Meaning of Words is grabbed off the shelf and the cabinet are all called. What follows are several hours spent redefining the words ‘Money’, ‘is’, ‘no’ and ‘Object’. Off-Shore is then given the script and sent out to deliver it to an increasingly sceptical public.

You know Off-Shore is lying because, although you never get to see his teeth, you can see his lips moving.


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