Fings Wot Jos Buttler Don’t Know About Cricket


If you are one of those wondering why England have selected someone who has already played for Australia, where he was born, rather than a lad born here and who scored a century in his last game, then we may have the answer.

Seems poor Jos doesn’t know as much about cricket as one would imagine and really struggles with the methods of dismissal. Choir-Boy Cook thought it would be a better idea if Jos went back to school and did a little bit of revision before the Test.

Here at The Field we have managed to get a glimpse of the Letts Schoolboy Diary he has been keeping.

Hello everyone, I’m Jos Buttler. Yes, it is a funny name. We had lots of fun making jokes about it while I was at Boarding School in Taunton I can tell you! I’ve had lots of jolly japes playing cricket and being captain meant that none of the other players could ever get me out.

These days some people want to stop me enjoying myself and have come up with some crazy ideas for stopping me batting, or as they call it, getting me out.

I was shocked to discover this is one of the ways they can say you are out in cricket.

Bowledbowled

It seems if the ball thing hits the sticks behind you then you are out. Seems to work the same if you knock the ball up for someone from the other team to catch even though that’s just being helpful.

Caughtcaught

I was staggered to discover that if you don’t get down the other end before the ball they can say that you are run-out even though most times I’ve run-in.

Run outrun out

It’s a bit like a strange one they’ve just told me about where if you miss the ball the bloke behind you can have you stumped. To be fair, I had no idea what he was on about and I was well and truly stumped.

Stumpedstumped

It also seems that if you’ve got a new bat thing and don’t want to mark it you can’t just stand in the way. They call this Ell Bee Double-You, whatever that means!

Ell Bee Double-YouLBW

The weirdest one they’ve told me about is where you accidently walk into the three sticks. For some bizarre reason they call this ‘Hit-Wicket’ and you have to walk off the ground.

Hit Wicketdont hit wicket

Much more of this nonsense and I’m heading back to Taunton to join the choir! After all, my voice has broken now: Arrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Somerset County Cricket Club in Twenty20 kit. Jos Buttler. Pict

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