Baftas Awards Tonight – Butt Kissing For A Full TWO Hours

They don’t all love themselves – much! “Let’s all have a super party, darling, invite ourselves and then give each other awards to tell ourselves how wonderful we all are, darling. To really rub their noses in it we’ll even have it on our own telly! What do you say darling?”

Not too toe curling then! They will all put their glad-rags on, only ‘borrowed’ for the night, and turn up as if the sun shines out of them. They will then sit down to announce the BEST film, BEST British Film, BEST film with people in we have never heard of, BEST film nobody will actually pay money to go and watch, BEST actor and BEST actress. Notice how for this they DO want the distinction between Actor and Actress? No PC crowd here! Who’d have guessed it?

He’s raced back from his honeymoon to host the Baftas which left us wondering why they didn’t just ask Mel & Sue to do it because they don’t seem to be doing much these days.

With all these BEST awards about tonight we all reckon that BEST we avoid it like the plague. Darling.

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