How Could You Possibly Suggest That The Footballers Of Today Are Disappearing Up Their Own Bums?


Jermain Defoe {who?} plays for Sunderland and has decided that he needs a man-servant. He’s not called the post that choosing to use the euphemistic term of Executive Personal Assistant. He wants somebody, make that a dogsbody, to arrange his diary, stock his fridge, look after his plants and produce smartphone apps to promote Brand Defoe.

Helpfully he has included a list of the some of the tasks the new recruit would be involved in:

Organise all Jermain’s personal needs i.e. drycleaners, gardeners, house refurbishments, sourcing interior designers and everyday task etc.
Regularly checking the home when Jermain is away, making sure all is in place for his return i.e. fridge is stocked and plants watered and house is clean.
Select and organise wardrobe with specific designers for special events/appearances i.e. Oswald Boateng, Harrods, ZAP etc

Defoe earns around £60,000 A WEEK and is prepared to pay the successful candidate £60K a year. It seems he might be open to negotiation and a further £10k is available if they are also happy to wipe his arse for him each morning. LINK

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