No doubt having picked up his passport, Dodgy-Dave went out on expedition. He fancied a trip to the ‘Frozen North’ and decided to head off towards Yorkshire; wherever that is?
He claimed he was going there to deliver a speech on local devolution but, as we will discover, this was just the usual pack of lies that Dodgy-Dave is famous for.
While waiting behind a curtain he managed to come out with the following line: “We just thought people in Yorkshire hated everyone else, we didn’t realise they hated each other so much,”
When he discovered he had dropped a bollock he then came out with the truly pitiful “it was all a joke” routine. Then came the usual “talking to an aide” old tosh.
So why did Dodgy-Dave really want to go “Up North”? Well surprise, surprise there was a One Day International Cricket match going on between England and Australia and the cheeking Tory git just managed to get himself a ticket to watch it. Gosh! Wasn’t that lucky. He even got to sit next to the famous Umpire and Yorkshire-man, Dickie Bird. Do remember that while Dodgy-Dave was enjoying his ‘Jolly-Boys Day Out’ the House of Commons was debating The Assisted Dying Bill. Great leadership Dodgy.