The Rules For An Interview With Dodgy Dave

Readers have contacted us here at TheField and asked us, “How come you spot when Dodgy-Dave is telling us all a porky?” Well readers, it’s easy really and here is a simple guide to help you.

Listen to the original question.

This is vital as you need to be clear what it was the interviewer was after in the first place. Now some of these will be pure bum-licker questions only asked for Dodgy to make a little speech about how good he is. You can pretty much turn off at this point. If it’s a genuine question then run it through your mind to home in on what it is that is being asked.

How does he start his reply?

The most obvious diversion here is the very old, “I think the real question is” trick. No, the real question is the one you’ve been asked! “I think what your viewers want to hear” is another one of these total tosh tactics.

Does he stick to the original question?

This is very unlikely. If you are very lucky it could be that it is related to something he wants to talk about. If this is the case then he will hit ‘prepared speech mode’. This is where he simply reads from a script that Sir Outback or some other drone has put together.

Does he totally ignore the question he was asked?

As we all know, this is, by far, the most likely response. He will totally ignore the question and go off on a tangent unrelated to anything that has gone before. This is classic Dodgy-Dave. He has to adopt this strategy often because the vast majority of ‘stuff’ he does completely ignores 85% of the country but he likes to pretend this isn’t the case.

When he does finally say something what should we listen out for?

Always remember he will never tell you the whole truth. Just note the drip-drip-drip of the Panama details this week and we’d be very surprised if we’ve heard anything like all of them yet. As a result, the thing to listen out for is what he DOESN’T say! What did he leave out? Why did he want to direct you towards ‘this’ item and what was he trying to hide? He’ll only tell you what you probably already know; the chances of finding out something new are very, very slim.

To be fair to Dodgy, it has to be said he is something of a Master of this craft. He clearly spent time going through tapes of Tony Bliar and picked up a vast number of tips. If you find our Helpful Hints too much in one go then just remember the Golden RuleAlways Assume He Is Telling A Porky; it’s safer that way!


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