Three FIFA Officials Award Themselves £55,000,000

Seems our MPs still have a lot to learn. Sepp Blatter, Jerome Valcke and Markus Kattner managed to award themselves pay rises and ‘bonuses’ to the tune of £55 million over a 5 year period. Now then, be honest {unlike them?}, that is pretty impressive.

Lawyers for FIFA have revealed that there is evidence that the three of them made “a coordinated effort” to “enrich themselves” between 2011 and 2015. Blatter and Valcke have already been accused of criminal mismanagement of FIFA money and have been banned for 6 and 12 years respectively.

It was nice to hear Blatter’s lawyer, Richard Cullen, still sticking with him and responded by saying, “We look forward to showing FIFA that Mr Blatter’s compensation payments were proper, fair and in line with the heads of major professional sports leagues around the world.”

Makes claiming for a £39 breakfast all seem like pretty small beer!


“I’ve tucked mine under the matress, what have you done with yours?”

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