Electing Your Party Leader – What An Utter Shambles!


Well it started with the Tories. Dodgy said he’d be leader until 2020 but then decided to have a referendum that he didn’t need to call for another 3 years. He loses the vote with the electorate which somehow transpires into a vote of no-confidence from his party so he resigns.

The worthy and the worthless now throw their hats into the Tory ring in the hope of being the new leader. Having gathered a number of names the party then go through the most convoluted process in order to reduce the list to just two names. Even before they get to the MPs voting to whittle the numbers down a few of them throw the towel-in but eventually they do manage to get down to a final pair.

At this point one of them goes off-piste in a newspaper interview and is forced to drop out before suffering anymore ridicule. Then there was one who not even the party members have had a chance to vote for and they are declared the new Prime Minister. She announces a change of focus from the manifesto she was elected as an MP on but, amazingly, she is not required to call a General Election!

All this time the Labour party could have been making hay while the sun shined and no farmer was at home but no. The MPs decided they didn’t like the cut of their leader’s jib. Up jumps some blonde haired Hobbit who decides to challenge their leader.

This entices another wannabe to crawl out of his mine in order to have a vote that they don’t need. The Hobbit then runs off, having lost her ring, and a vote is required by the paid-up members of the party that seems to take about 14 weeks to organise! At some point we may know who the party members have chosen but by then many of us will have lost the will to live.

So today we come to the UKip party. Now this is where it does get a bit weird because they only have one MP but for some strange reason he is not the leader. All seems a tad odd but, to be fair, the Greens have done that as well.

So the Big Cheese steps down from UKip, again, and names are put forward for a vote to elect the new leader. Thanks to the BBC some of the faces are very familiar, some would say very, very, very familiar, and those in the know all seem to agree on a favourite. The rabbit poo in the currants though is that some bright spark decided to include a deadline for applications.

His bus was late and the traffic was bad so the favourite got his form in too late and is excluded from the vote. So we have three parties, with aspirations of running the country, who couldn’t organise a piss-up in a brewery!

If you wanted to write a Whitehall farce you couldn’t top it!

three shambles

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