Don’t Panic Citizen But With Tess Away On Holiday Boorish Is In Charge!


Hard to believe but Boorish Johnson is the only member of the Cabinet left in the country and has assumed full control of the country. What can possibly go wrong?

The appalling thought that a crisis could occur and we would have to rely on the ‘quick thinking’ of Boorish is enough to keep must of us awake at night. Let’s all hope that Tess doesn’t fall over and twist her ankle while on her hiking-hols.

Of course this could all be a deliberate scam to get us all excited at the prospect of Tess returning to Downing Street! We don’t think even the fear of Boorish could manage that.

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