Please note: If you have genuinely earned one of these then the charge is not made to your account.
(There is frequent mention of the British Empire – whatever that is!)
British Empire Medal (BEM) – £10,000 and agree to organise a clear-up of your local village.
Member of the Order of the British Empire (MBE) – £25,500 and you’ll need to organise more than one local village clean-up.
Officer of the Order of the British Empire (OBE) – £100,000 and you will need to be known nationally as someone who cleans-up around the country.
Commander of the Order of the British Empire (CBE) – £250,000 and you will need to come up with a clever new idea of how to clean-up at a national level.
Knight/Dame – £950,000 and you will have to have cleaned up over at least ten years nationally OR hand over £1,000,000 to the tory party.
Companion of Honour – do absolutely nothing in cabinet for the full five years and then leave to tell people all about it as long as you are paid £25,000 a time to speak.
See? As long as you have the money it is all very, very easy.