Tories Hit A New Low As May Buys Support With Cheap Prosecco

May has been forced to wine and dine her backbenchers at Chequers in an attempt to gain their support. She is crapping herself that following her disastrous decision to call an election the Party Conference will go tits-up in her face so she is filling her fickle MPs with cheap wine in a smarm-offensive tagged Operation Prosecco.

Her and ‘Hello Playmates’ husband Phil have invited MPs and partners to the so-called PM’s official country retreat in a pitiful attempt to have them provide her with a standing ovation when she gives them her over rehearsed speech.

According to one poor Tory git, who has actually attended one of these toe-curling events, May-Day does a fair old stand-up comedy routine. Apparently she brought the house down with a hilarious story of how Margaret Thatcher ordered one of the rooms be renovated ahead of a visit by Mikhail Gorbachev.

“When Maggie was told there wasn’t time, she told the Chequers staff ‘If you don’t do it, I’ll do it myself’.” Oh our aching sides!!!

It seems the smarm-offensive may have worked as a Tory grease-monkey pointed out that, “Theresa was determined to show she was in listening mode.”

Sources insisted the bill was being picked up by the Tory Party rather than taxpayers. Well that must be a first! If she shops at Sainsbury’s though she could take advantage of an offer on Maschio Prosecco Doc Brut at only £7.00 a bottle. If you buy 6 of them that drops to just £5.25 – it’s like avoiding all of the tax put on it by Giddy Osborne. Plebs like us, if we could afford it, can only buy a maximum of 36 bottles but we reckon May-Day will be able to find a way around that!!

theresa-may-drinking prosecco

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