Tory Party Rally – 2017

So where do we start? Obviously the fat elephant in the room was Boorish Johnson but nearly every MP was too busy cakking themselves to dare mention him apart from a few honest souls who were then thrown out into the limelight.

The first joker to take the stage was the distinctly unfunny Flaccid Phil Hammond. He makes watching paint dry appear fascinating. Who imagined he could be persuaded that telling a few jokes would go down well?

First up came a real thigh-slapper: “What a privilege to be here. In Manchester City, but all of us United!” He was then really hilarious about Bill Vague, the 1970’s, Robert Mugabe {??}, Corbyn, Labour, McDonnell {yawn}, and he also managed to include some film titles in a very funny way. Hard to tell him not to ‘give up’ the daytime job even when he is useless at both.

Amber Rude then made a move towards the mike, remembering to lose the sticky note she had to remind her she isn’t PM yet. At least she did come up with one useful idea. As always with a Tory; the devil is in the detail.

The proposal is that the sale of the most corrosive substances to under-18s is to be banned under police powers proposed by the home secretary to tackle the recent spate of acid attacks. She added that she wants to create a new offence of possession of a corrosive substance in a public place, modelled on the existing ban on carrying a knife, which carries a prison sentence of up to four years.

Unfortunately it went down from there. She fell into the old trap of talking about things she clearly doesn’t know much about. The first part was she wanted to lay down the Law to companies from America. They are never going to take a lot of interest if you try and tell them what to do from London. Then she started talking about IT and telling these firms what they should be doing about information they carry. Didn’t help she admitted at a fringe meeting that she, “didn’t need to know how encryption works” – it might help though!

Next act to put themselves forward was that idiot Boorish Johnson. Forget his speech – his history for crass comments was brought to the fore this week. You have to wonder just how stupid he really is.

Boorish Johnson should be fired for saying that a Libyan city could become the new Dubai once “they clear the dead bodies away“, a Conservative MP has said.

The remarks were “100 per cent unacceptable from anyone, let alone Foreign Secretary“, Heidi Allen tweeted. “Boris must be sacked for this. He does not represent my party.

The Member of Parliament for South Cambridgeshire was backed by Anna Soubry, the Tory MP for Broxtowe, who said the foreign secretary was “embarrassing“.

The Bullingdon Bully Boy made his comments at a fringe meeting at the rally. He said: “There’s a group of UK business people actually, I don’t know whether you will have come across this, wonderful guys, who want to invest in Sirte on the coast, near where Gaddafi was actually captured and executed, as some of you may have seen. They have a got brilliant vision to turn Sirte, with the help of the municipality of Sirte, into the next Dubai. The only thing they’ve got to do is clear the dead bodies.

Now what will we all remember about the wonderful speech given by our weak and shallow leader May-Day? Well that is pretty obvious to everyone. The first are the amazing lies she has conjured up in her mind that tell her she is doing a wonderful job. Does nobody have the decency to tell her she is totally deluded? Perhaps she simply doesn’t believe them and is now lost in her own little world where she spends all day running through wheat fields?

Then we had the handing over of a mock P45! What a hoot! So much for ‘tightened security’. A great moment in politics.

To then round off the out and out farce we then had the coughing fit that seemed to go on and on. It was something straight out of “Veep”.

The crazy thing in that this lot imagine they are running the country and negotiating a Brexit deal. Heaven help us!!



Just to top the whole thing off – the F falls off the sign behind her!! Laughing stock!!

f in

Didn’t Even Need Photoshopping!!!

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