May Unable To Do Anything As The Wheels Come Off The Tory Bus

What on earth is she going to do with this lot?

First up is secretary of state Damian Green. He is under investigation by the Cabinet Office concerning unwanted advances towards a young Tory activist. While searching his office his computer was found to contain “extreme” porn. As you would expect he denies all of this.

Then we have Boorish Johnson whose mouth just runs away from him. If he is not running into small children then he is out using inappropriate terms on the world stage. His latest could mean that a British citizen spends a further 5 years in a gaol in Iran.

Living next door is Flaccid Phil Hammond who she can’t bear to be in the same room with. She had planned to sack him 6 months ago but bottled it back then.

She’s then got her Commons leader Andrea Leadsom. The papers have accused her of failing to act on information on a rape claim made by a Tory aide. Some backbenchers also believe that she had her finger in the pie that ended Michael Fallon’s career in an effort to save her own.

Now she’s got Priti Useless wandering around Israel and setting up meetings without any adult supervision. Who knows what deals she was trying to arrange and for whose benefit? To make it even worse when she was revealed by the press she started out by making up a cock and bull story about how she had told everyone and everyone knew about it. She was then forced to tell the truth.

All of these are bad enough but then she goes and invites another one! Having got Fallon to jump she needed someone to take over at defence. Because she rarely ever comes out into the light these days she has no idea what is going on. The only people she knows are the Whips so she promotes Gavin Williamson as the new defence secretary. If we say he just looks like a streak of piss we’d only be joining in with the parliamentary party who have no time for the bloke!

It’s clearly too much for the poor old lady and she really ought to stand down before she is publicly humiliated.


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